so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Randomize
