He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They are going to name an STD after you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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