Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
