She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
