everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize