Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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