The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
