As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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