Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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