you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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