I can tuck mytits in my pants
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
