you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
