Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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