Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
