I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize