Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
