i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He shit in the fireplace
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