dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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