I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
