this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
