she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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