Pappa wants mamma naked
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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