its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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