I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
