i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
