Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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