apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
