i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
