Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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