you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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