You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
