escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
