dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
