She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My ass is underappreciated
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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