? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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