I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
