it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
