Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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