thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
