i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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