Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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