Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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