They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Someone signed my nipple.
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