Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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