please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
