Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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