I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
