my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
