You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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