it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
