Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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