I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
