..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
