absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
