At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
