he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
