Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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