Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
