I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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